Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Spin the wheel boys

So, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a busy time politically, and I think it's because bets that were placed after the election results are starting to play out. Yes - I said bets.  Let me explain.

No one expected the Lib Dems and the Conservatives to form a coalition - they had way too many fundamental differences - but they did. Whatever you may feel about their leaders, members or policies, you have to have some respect for the fact that they decided to put the country's economic problems before party politics. But this was the key: the economy. The coalition will live or die based on economic success, and this is the gamble. Imagine you're in a casino and go to the roulette table. Standing there are David Cameron and Nick Clegg. They both reach into their pockets and pull out an envelope; inside are their parties' hopes at the next general election, and they put it all on black.


This seemed like a huge gamble - they could do anything and none of it would matter with the Euro zone economy also in the casino, throwing all the money in the slot machine with Van Rompey sitting there, crying into his massive coin cup, with only half a dozen coins in the bottom and his German loan shark ready to break his legs. But bet they did, and from the start things were not looking good. Opposite Nick and Dave on the table was Ed Miliband. He turned up late with a huge stack of chips from his comrades in the Unions. He was a ruthless gambler, leaving his brother in the gutter on his way to the high rollers' table. He placed everything on red, on the economic plans of the coalition failing miserably. During this early time the ball bounced around but never went near black. Ed got excited - he would taunt the hapless Nick and Dave opposite him. Inflation up, GDP down, the weight of the bet weighing upon them. But, things changed...



Ed had to change taunts, picking on one of Dave's minders for saying a naughty word (can you fu**ing believe it?), picking on Dave's accountant over a problem with a ticket (forgetting that he paid the fine) and inciting class warfare. Ed has fewer millions than Dave, and that practically means he was a chimney-sweep boy. Ed was scared. The ball had started to bounce around on black: GDP up, inflation down, unemployment down. Ed is now starting to sweat - he needs the economy to fail so he can win, and it's better to discredit the men placing the bets opposite him so that even if the ball lands on black, people will think they cheated or something.

So the table is starting to slow its spin, any jolt will change the result, and Ed looks ill. His taunts are landing but he knows none of it matters if black comes in. Dave and Nick are starting to relax and for the first time in two years are feeling lucky. Where is your money?


Robert


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1 comment:

  1. Nice one Rob... like the spin you put on that. But of course, the madness of Lefts knows no bounds; the economy could go right into overdrive under the coalition and some would still vote Labour in the hope of getting a divvie-up of even bigger welfare handouts in future.

    We're a long, long way from safe - need to keep mocking Labour's attempts to launch any manifesto kite-flying proposals. They will court the vote of anything that breeds.

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